I have some tea for you... ☕️

Chile….I got some juicy, juicy news for you girl but I’m not sure if you’re gonna like it…

It’s a that girl tip, but premium edition and I know some of y’all are not ready for it.

You need to stop gossiping. ☕️

Talking negatively about other people is such a miserable activity and we need to stop doing it.

Before we delve into it let’s make some things clear - not all gossiping is bad.✨

Sometimes we just need to vent. That is not the same as repetitive negative dwelling over someone else’s life.

In its essence, gossiping is sharing social information and just the fact that you’re talking about someone who’s not present doesn’t mean you’re doing something bad.

It’s storytelling, and it can help us learn from each other, bond, and understand the world we’re navigating. 🌍

Telling a negative story about someone’s antisocial behavior is not inherently evil. It is one of our survival mechanisms.

For example, if you heard a bad story about a guy your friend is dating, of course you’re gonna tell her. That’s protection. ⛑️

❓ Here are a few questions to consider before sharing the information:

• Are you stabbing someone in the back by telling that story?

• Is that news going to stop something bad from happening?

• Is the story going to be educational for the other person?

• Is the other person going to be responsible with the information you give them?

• Are you gossiping only for your own personal gain? Or just to make yourself feel better?

• Are you sharing the information out of malice or envy?

• Are you going to distort the information?

So, grow your own discernment. 🤔💭

However, gossiping in a sense of pointless slander of others for your amusement is just pathetic and here is why:

1. It becomes your form of self-validation✅

Instead of receiving self-validation from your own achievements, daily wins, academic or career success and other useful things, you start creating an illusion of achievement by negative stories about others. 🔮

Yeah, you may have not gotten anything done this week, your room looks like a tornado went through it and you just ate a whole cake by yourself… but hey! At least you didn’t post that cringey photo like Jessica or gain 10 kilos this semester like Helen.

Why don’t you call your friends and talk about it for an hour instead of doing something useful? 📢

I see you and I’m calling you out. Stop using ridiculous excuses and start working on yourself.

2. It creates a toxic environment☢️

And it does so both internally and externally.

Internally in a sense that you reinforce the negative wiring of your brain.

Externally in the sense that if you’re gossiping within some kind of a group (i.e. a workplace or a friend group), it spreads like wildfire and it’s only a matter of time before it backfires to you. 🔥

3. It can affect your self-esteem😞

How miserable a person must be if they’re constantly thinking about what others do or think.

If you judge others, you start believing they are judging you too. And then it’s hard for you to start new things, be yourself, embarge on new ventures and grow. 📈

But the truth is the only people that will judge you are the ones who are miserable with themselves and have nothing better to do.

Don’t be one of them 🙂

4. It reflects poorly on your character🧻

I can tell you from personal experience that the biggest red flag for me is when someone shares gossip with me before even knowing me properly. 👀

Another red flag is when someone likes to negatively meditate over someone else’s bad life choices. It’s just so useless and unproductive.

It immediately tells me their confidence is so low that they need to talk about other people to stop thinking about themselves. And that’s not the vibe. I run. 🏃‍♀️

It also tells me I can’t rely on this person because who knows what would they do behind my back.

If you find yourself in these, I’m not judging you.

Quite the opposite, I congratulate you for being self-aware and honest enough to admit it to yourself. 🙌

Not anyone could do it.

The solution is so simple yet so profound - you need to focus on yourself more.🌱

You need to become better. It’s not selfish. It’s exactly the opposite because it helps everyone else.

You become more useful to society and you become a vessel of positive energy. ✨

So, work out your triggers, and try to understand why you enjoy gossiping and what it substitutes for you. ✍🏼

As always, I am here alongside you to support you on your journey. 🌞

Sending you love and light,

Your Glowing Bestie ✨❤️